Walking along a narrow path, painted with color-light leaves

I peer through tiny holes in the walls.

Each hole fills a transfusion of life through one vein,

sending outrageous torment through my soul.

Some live,

and they really live.

Some don’t even know they truly exist.

Some breathe and watch the colors of smoky inhalations and exhalations paint their aurora, and they laugh to themselves.

Then someone asks, “What was so funny?”

“Nothing.” They say.

Knowing they couldn’t understand.

She knew we couldn’t understand.

Some could,

a little bit,

and those enjoyed the minutes she chose to share with them dancing atop a hill,

rolling in laughter all the way back down the hill to earth.

Moonshine is her spotlight,

while the stars remained her partners in freedom.

As children we spun circles with the wind’s wings,

always holding hands while staring at the infinite sky.

Today I smile at the sky alone,

saying “Oh nothing”, answering others questions.

I know that gray swivel, smudging the formation of that cloud… to the left, is you.

I bled today.

It was rich, thick and held no pain.

It came and went,

sharing life but taking nothing at its descent.

Kiss. Touch. All better.

In seclusion with my thoughts I cry.

Each tear slithers its path down my cheek and you try to catch them like a catcher in baseball,

but we both know sports were not your cup of tea…

they each fall to their place.

My soul burns like browned, withering paper that burns to ashes rapidly before the living eye.

She lands on my knee,

shakes the dust from her tiny fairy wings and asks what I desire.

“With all my heart and soul, little one, I want to know her.”

She sits cross-legged on my knee, tilting her head curiously.

“I know her. I know how she likes to laugh and I know how she likes to play, but yesterday I forgot. Little one, yesterday I was a woman and so was she. We stood together in a cloud of dust and when it subsided, I stood alone. Today I want to know the woman she is. Today I wished that woman I knew… to watch her, to speak with her, to kiss her, only to end with laughter that connected our souls again where they played familiarly.”

She stood.

Fluttering her wings slowly,

she flew to my face, trailing her tiny fingers through my lashes,

laughing.

She was gone.

I sank.

Further and further into the place I lay,

another tear slithering much faster to its destination this time.

Then, after this solitary tear I STOP.

I giggle,

softly.

I giggle a little more.

I close my eyes and smile.

This, here it is. My dreams,

my sleep with fluttering eyes and endless flight take us soaring atop a hill.

We sit there… as children. As women. As ladybugs.

Whatever we are, we are.

This is where we meet and laugh,

forevermore.